Mediation Stories
Chris and Janet - The Pie in the Sky
Chris and Janet are in their fifties and at the end of a relationship that included only a few years of marriage following a shorter period of cohabitation.
Janet was previously married and divorced. Chris was not previously married. There are no children.
Chris has a position with a large consulting firm where his income varies depending on the number of assignments he receives each year and the amount of his annual bonuses. His recent average income has been at least $120,000 per annum, but his future income is uncertain.
Janet is not formally employed. She holds herself out to be a writer but in reality has not had any earnings for a number of years. She has been entirely dependent on Chris during the marriage and somewhat dependent on him during the period of cohabitation.
Chris is often away for extended periods on business assignments. For Chris, the marriage is over and he is ready to move on. He has no optimism for this relationship and no interest in making any effort to restore his feelings for Janet.
Janet, on the other hand, is very dependent emotionally and financially on Chris, and for her the break-up is very difficult.
In the first joint session, the parties are tentative but cooperative. The issues are identified generally as being spousal support and equalization of property. They each agree to get on with financial disclosure so that at the next session, steps can be taken in respect of these issues.
Discussion of spousal support is started. Chris continues to be very reticent in this regard. He is waiting for Janet to state a position. Janet is uninformed and looking to the mediator to suggest numbers. In these circumstances, the mediator suggests that before the next session, both parties should receive specific advice in respect of spousal support. Using generic terms, the mediator provides suggestions to both parties as to what sort of questions should be covered with the legal advisors.
Janet has obtained legal advice relating to spousal support. Her grief relating to the separation has transformed into anger and a determination to receive a spousal support settlement, which on the face of it, would appear to be far in excess of anything that she could expect to achieve in litigation (the pie in the sky). When this is expressed by Janet, Chris for the first time, becomes more forthcoming in terms of his objectives. He feels that he has carried the financial ball throughout and that it is time for Janet to become self-supporting. He is clearly thinking in terms of a very short-term and modest arrangement for spousal support.
The parties are at an impasse and far apart on the critical issue of spousal support. The atmosphere is angry and confrontational.
If an agreement is to be reached, it will have to be with the assistance and approval of legal counsel for each party. Whatever compromise is to be made, it is essential that the agreement reflect that each party has made a fully informed decision.
The parties are asked to go back to their lawyers and the mediator indicates an intention to have discussions with the lawyers before the next session.
The final session is actually quite brief. In private caucus, Chris indicates a willingness to pay a reasonable lump sum for spousal support. In her private caucus, Janet expresses a similar intention. Both are obviously feeling secure in their positions and quickly reach agreement in joint session. The atmosphere has reverted to being cordial and both parties are apparently very pleased with the result.
There were two keys to the success of this mediation. First, each party had a full opportunity to express inner feelings and underlying concerns. Secondly, with their lawyers' assistance, the parties were able to reach a compromise with confidence.